Fathers

Family is important.  I'm grateful that I grew up in a 2-parent household and that I knew who my father was.  Nowadays it seems like more and more relationships are ending in divorce or kids are being raised my mom's who don't know who the dad's are or the dad's show no real interest in being fathers.  Whatever the situation it is important to be thankful for what you have and who you have in your life.  My father died within 2 weeks of my son's 8th birthday.  I know this was a major life event for my son because he and my dad had a close relationship and my dad depended on Jalen as much as Jalen depended on him.  My father's health had been failing for a couple of years and our family had this joke that when Jalen was at home with my dad he was actually taking care of him rather than my dad babysitting for me.  At that point in my life my dad was the male role model in Jalen's life because Jalen's father wasn't around like he should have been.  My dad taught Jalen how to play chess, how to scramble eggs, how to scare his mimi, how to move furniture, etc.  I met and married my husband in 2007 and it would have been great if my dad could have met the wonderful man who I'm spending the rest of my life with and who is helping me raise Jalen.  I know my dad would have definitely approved of DaRell being part of the family.

My dad's birthday is on October 30th and if he were alive he would be turning 65, I believe.  It's hard to believe he's been gone for over 5 years now.  My dad's wish for his children was that they graduated from college and 2 of his 3 kids have done that.  When he died I was attending OSU and I had so hoped he would live to see me graduate but that didn't happen.  I was grateful that he was able to see me receive a plaque and certificate for being on the Dean's Honor Roll when I attended Langston University.  Anyway, he died in February of 2005 and I didn't graduate until the summer of 2006. 

Life does go on and the neat thing is that after my dad died we found out that my sister was pregnant.  She gave birth to her beautiful son who I could give tons of kisses to until he gets sick of me but I can't help it because Tre is the best nephew in the whole wide world and next to my son he is the best.  Anyway, my sister gave birth to her son on my dad's birthday.  So even though we lost my dad and miss him everyday we now have a beautiful boy to love and share life with.

Am I too lazy to lose weight?

I just turned 38 this past week and here I am...overweight.  I've been overweight my whole life.  In my baby book it says that at age 3 I weighed 40 lbs and next to that it says "O.W."  I have no memories of ever being able to buy an outfit that wasn't in the "plus size" area.  My son is now 13 and yet I weigh 33 lbs more than when I gave birth to him.  I was on Facebook and saw this quote:  "People only change when the pain of the same is greater than the pain of change."  Losing weight isn't some big mystery to solve.  It's quite simple:  eat less, move more.  But even though I know what I need to do to lose weight, I don't do it.  I like to eat.  I don't like to exercise.  My husband went out and bought me a Wii because I told him I wanted to use the Biggest Loser on the Wii to get me exercising.  I used it for a couple of days and that was atleast 4 months ago.  It's easier to keep doing what I'm doing than to make a conscious effort to live healthier.  I love my family and I enjoy my job so other than my weight, I'm happy.  When I put my mind to eating healthier I am successful.  But the success is always short-lived.  I'll do good for a couple of weeks and then I lose my focus.  I'll make a bad food choice and instead of moving on at the next meal I give up until I'm ready to get focused again which is months and months down the road.  Now is the time that I'm ready to get focused again.  I'm hoping that if I write about my struggles and successes than perhaps it will help me stay motivated.  I mean, what do I have to lose?

How I met my husband.

First, let me give you a little bit of background.  In 2006, I was in my eighth year working at a doctor's office.  I had been the receptionist but once I returned to college I began doing the medical records in order to work the hours that accomodated my school schedule.  I enjoyed my job but knew that I needed a better paying job since I was a single mother...that's why I decided to return to school.  I graduated with a Bachelor's in Sociology, in July of 2006 and a month or so later applied to work for the State.  I ended up getting a job in October 2006, as a child welfare specialist in a town just an hour away.  For the first couple of months I commuted the hour to work and back so my son didn't have to change schools in the middle of the semester.  My son and I moved in mid-December and the day I met my future husband was January 2nd, 2007.  My mother and my niece, Alice, had come for a visit to see my new apartment.  My mom suggested we go to Incredible Pizza to eat, in Tulsa, and that's where we went.  As soon as I walk past the cash register I see this good-looking guy walking towards me so I smile and go fill up my plate with food.  Later, I'm in the gameroom and I notice him walking towards me again.  He walks past me and stops, turns around, and asks me if I was seeing anyone.  I said no and so he introduces himself.  I knew that Incredible Pizza was a place for kids so I asked him who he was there with.  He paused and said he was there with his ex-wife and kids.  We continue our exchange with him asking me where I worked and how old I was, etc.  He gave me his phone number and I called him later that evening.  There was a party that weekend that my coworkers and I were invited to so I thought that would be a perfect opportunity for me to invite DaRell.  Nine months later, in October 2007 he proposed to me during breakfast at The Golden Nugget, in Las Vegas.  We got married two days later, on October 11th, at a wedding chapel.  This past week we celebrated our three year anniversary and I can't imagine myself any happier.  I know that good things  happen when you least expect it because us meeting that day at Incredible Pizza was so out of the blue. 

Random

I have all these thoughts going through my mind but as soon as I decided to start typing away it seems I am at a loss for words.  I wonder if anyone will actually read my blogs.  So, it's 11pm and my husband's at work, my son's in his bedroom, probably asleep already.  My husband and I just celebrated our three year wedding anniversary.  This is my first marriage, his second.  Being married is great.  I remember before I started dating my husband I couldn't imagine living with a man.  I was used to being a single mother and it just being me and my son at home...we had a good thing going and I enjoyed coming and going as I pleased.  I always thought that if I found someone that I wanted to marry then I wouldn't have as much freedom as I was accustomed to.  Now, I can't imagine not living with my husband.  I realize that the men of my past is the reason I thought I might lose so much of myself by getting married.  My husband is a true rare find and has shown me the way I always should have been treated in a relationship.  During our first year of marriage I would always show concern when I'd find out that a couple we knew were breaking up.  I know that what my husband and I have is solid but momentarily I would find myself wondering what ultimately caused that couple to break up and could what happened to them happen to us.  Of course, not all relationships are built on solid ground.  I think this is it for my first blog...I'm going to get some sleep now.